Your Highness is gonna be good, right?

I don’t think I could deal with Your Highness not being good.

Whenever I see someone post that GET DRUNK / GET STUPID / GET LAID image I can’t help but uncharitably predict that their night is more likely to end up closer to GET DRUNK / GET SUPERDRUNK / EAT HOT DOGS STRAIGHT OUT THE PACK.

(Projecting? Moi?)

Had to pick up my Joyce book from 7-11’s lost and found just now.

Why yes I was stoned last night.

So hey, a reader submitted her own tale of a Craigslist encounter! That’s awesome.

If you have a story you would like me to post (anonymously), you can send it to me at craigslist.tumblr@gmail.com. Ideally a story about Craigslist but I suppose any online dating-related disasters would be fine. I know not everyone wants to bare that stuff on their personal blog.

I love how close this is to some of my own experiences. Hipster self-hatred! Disappointment! Damn right. It’s funnier than mine though. Dudes on the internet (excluding myself obv.) be crazy.

So anyway here is this cool girl’s cool story:

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Well yeah, I think we all know that phrase is deserving of quotation marks when it’s late enough or we’re messed up enough.

Of course it doesn’t apply universally; the movie has to bad enough that I don’t really want/need to watch it, but good enough that it is plausible that we might watch it.

Like the live action Aeon Flux = WHO ARE YOU KIDDING REMOVE THOSE PANTS whereas Scott Pilgrim = THIS MY SHIT I WILL GET BACK TO YOU DURING THE END CREDITS.

“Watch a movie” movies are like… Squid and the Whale or any non-Mr. Fox movie by Wes Anderson. That is what that genre of movie is made for.

“I guess your idea of ‘strictly platonic’ is just a little less strict than mine.”

You’re Irish.

N. was the most attractive girl I ever met through Craigslist. And I fucked her. Or perhaps more accurately, she fucked me; but we’ll get to that.

This happened a long time ago. I always meant to write about her but for whatever reason I haven’t. That reason could be that this is not a story that makes me look super awesome (in spite of the first two sentences in this post) but it’s not as if that’s stopped me before.

Maybe in writing this I’ll figure it out. I mean, maybe this story won’t even seem that remarkable to you but it still haunts me.

Then again, there is at least one reason I can think of to explain why this yarn still strikes me as particularly memorable:

I almost die at the end.

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